It has been an ongoing, life long journey to open to a greater truth of which my social and cultural conditioning has blurred the ability to see and comprehend. That conventional framing of life and self has in turn been influenced by the lure of questionable promises of happiness and other metaphysical questions. It has been a cycle not easy to escape.
A grace fuelled stepping back has allowed for an opening into being and related understanding of the ways of the self. As a result of a slow unfolding of looking in another way I have come to realize how that cycle of conditioning has perpetuated confining ego centred boundaries and patterns and how identification with these have served as an insulation from something more fundamental, real and creative of what I am.
Turning inward I have embraced spending time in silence and in contemplation that has allowed for a more direct experiencing of life and for increased self insight. It is not a life of pure bliss as more idealistic impressions may suggest. The need to learn to endure loneliness and other hardships as they arise are inevitably encountered.
However it is in that enduring; to an obedience to attention to what is encountered in silence and presence that a wholeness and passion for life emerges. In that a curiosity, creativity and desire and urge to explore and realize what is new and what is true is unleashed.