There is at this time of Corona Virus and the isolation that it has increasingly brought to all, a sense of confusion and chaos. How much danger have we brought upon ourselves in living in our conventional, habitual unexamined ways. Our ways of coping; finding security and comfort seem to be meaningless in resolution of this chaos and seem to serve more to insulate and filter the masses from unpleasantries inherent in life’s unfolding. But there is no avoiding this now. Maybe it is a wake up call to something of the suffering that is more a part of life than we have allowed ourselves to face in this complacent age.
Much of the meaning that I found in living life I realize came to me through an external conditioning; a consequence of that being that for much of my life I was more disabled, mired in ignorance than I was aware. I was unable to see through what I had come to assume of life to a deeper truth within. It all kept me so focused on making life too easy, too comfortable and on a very external means of achieving that.
These days I find myself increasingly alone in isolation disarmed and naked in my self. Rigorous as I am in my desire to pursue what is true of my existence I am ready to delve deeper and most often turn to my search in silence. I have for so many years sought to explore what lingers underneath all that I have assumed myself to be. That revelation has been a gradual, never ending one. These days what Im encountering are ensuing moments of unbearable fear, aloneness and vulnerability; something I suspect I was not ready until now to see. This revelation is not completely dark although pervasive and of unknown origins there is simultaneously a grace filled intuition that there is something more real to be revealed in moving through this opening door.