Finding My Way

These days I find myself living life more aware of what occurs in direct experience as opposed to looking for direction in opinions or other external influences how life should be lived. It raises the question of wether there is something lost in our collective reliance on external messaging that involves abandoning this kind of direct experience. My own sense is that our contemporary way has been so greatly informed by external fact and opinion at the expense of a more internally focused direct way of living. I don’t know if rational dialogue and intellectual debate will suffice to change my insight. It seems to arise from a more contemplative, meditative orientation to life, beyond language, that helps me to see more clearly; to attend to, and ground myself in a way of life that involves a more conscious, subjective quality of awareness. It seems to me that life does involve both a cerebral dynamic and more intuitive inner one and if I don’t make the effort to question it the immense external conventional influence out there often encourages a more cerebral engagement in life. For most of my life that has been the priority that has been encouraged. Despite settling into a more experiential engagement with life I am not renouncing the external experience. There are absolutely times when cerebral ability is called for and I embrace that aspect of my being. I use language, orally and in writing as a way of creatively expressing my experience although at this point in my life I am more aware than ever and able to differentiate between the tool of my being and my being. That helps me to more consciously distinguish and to refrain from going on about things that I have no experience with and from being trapped in belief that shuts me down. It enables my heart to be more available and open. I use words as a creative tool to describe my experience. Words are often limited in attending to more ineffable inner experiences.Art, music, poetry are much better means for that. I don’t go around espousing a theory of how to live. There is much more to being than what is written or spoken. I suspect there are many ways to find more passion, compassion and selfless sharing and giving in our lives. What more could one ask.

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