I’ve had ongoing revelation regarding the notion of vulnerability recently, influenced by a talk I had with a colleague at one point last fall. In our discussion of feelings encountered in awakening, the notion of vulnerability came up. She mentioned to me that perhaps it was important to maintain boundaries if one was experiencing vulnerability.
After some time I experienced an insight. That is that the “egoic self“ does require boundaries. The boundaries we are talking about perpetuate and reinforce a manufactured sense of individuality insulating a person from external threats of one sort or another. But there are also other things that boundaries insulate one from; things perhaps quite fundamental to our sense of what is natural of our being.
Liberation actually involves a loosening and stepping out from those boundaries of ”self” into whatever might be left that is natural of ourselves. Initiation involves risk and challenge—to shift perspectives we must be willing to experience our own vulnerabilities. But we must also have the inner confidence to not be paralyzed by those vulnerabilities in order to move forward toward greater integration. In that mindful falling away we die to what has been superficially conditioned in us that has provided insulation and security in to the illusion of separateness. This pursuit has not allowed for deeper awareness and realization. In our readiness to step out we discover a more subtle revelation of the mystery of life and being. There is opening to deeper understanding of the birth and death of the form that we have found ourselves a part of. In so doing we come upon a vast new experience of expansion of consciousness and knowing of our “Self”; much more than can be realized as a “self”. Vulnerability might not describe that experience comprehensively. There is an aspect of existential angst that is part of it that we are likely averted to as well.Vulnerability seems to be likely something encountered along the way, that is inseparable from a a more vast sensitivity, unpredictability and sense of interconnectedness that is encountered in our natural state of experience.