In my processing, it has come to me that I see the pain and suffering in life and I’m very sad about it, but the truth is that I just don’t have strong opinions and/or beliefs about what will fix that. As a social worker and development worker I became disillusioned, not seeing that my intended actions or anyone else’s made a significant difference accept when, those involved, were able to bring love and/ or compassion and clear seeing to those moments and relations.
I struggle more these days with the many opinionated voices I encounter and often I feel pain as though I am passive and misdirected in their perception. Although I am in agreement with the observation that there is immense suffering and injustice in the world, a strong emotional response including who is responsible for the injustice and how to intervene is unsettling for me. It seems to be incomplete; their perceptions missing something fundamental in understanding of a more complicated situation.
These days I look more within and attend to what I discover there, encountering a deep sense of pain that seems to be ignited when encountering these reactions from others. I look more to be with that, listening to what I discover there in that void, being asked to explain something that is ineffable where my words are just never enough.