We can be so programmed in ways that we ignore the direct experience of being. It seems that so many of us go through our days making choices that ignore that awareness. When I take the time to attend to the present moment it often provokes a tear; something about coming back to realization of the beauty and struggle and wonder of life; that can only be fully realized in awareness. There is always an experience of vulnerability and sensitivity in that awareness, sometimes not easy to be with but inseparable from the realization of beauty and truth. I recognize my habitual efforts to escape from the sensitivity that these moments or realization bring and at the same time I see the futility in pursuing an ever illusive place of security. I prefer to be alone at those moments or at least to be with others in a more intimate and/or authentic way; that itself often extending and intensifying the sense of vulnerability. It is something that can’t be avoided if I am to live life fully.