Discovery cannot come as long as you cling to the familiar. —NISARGADATTA MAHARAJ
These days I find myself more than ever looking to immerse myself in silence; allowing myself to sink ever deeper into that alchemical stillness.Out of the silence I am able to escape from blindness wrought by my conditioning. Following that conditioning I cling to the familiar. In silence there is a light that illuminates the compromising, self indulgent and limiting habits and patterns and the resistance to change. One such, most enduring, collective, conventional norm is the embrace of a most atrophied complacency that often passes for achievement and respectability. Contemplation for the best part enables a seeing of what ultimately has been a barrier to what is active, dynamic and authentic of existence. Out of silence I may become briefly aware, at moments, of my mind as an active power, and not, as it usually appears to me, a passive reflection of the “real world. I am aware that our minds are active and able in other ways than the limited ways that we have been directed to use them.
I understand that what emerges from the stillness determines what I am, discovering that I am energized and refined in this wordless essence. Life is endlessly unfolding and an ongoing process of transition. In opening in such a way, the external veneer of self that I have invested a life time in creating and sustaining is melting; a slow dripping into oblivion. As I slowly emerge from that, I rediscover a sense of innocence, creativity and nakedness long ago forgotten. There is apprehension in the unknown that is encountered here. Experiencing that which in my fear and ignorance, I have endlessly avoided I only now realize that there has been something essential in the knowledge of myself that has been hidden that could possibly be understood with new insight. It’s ironic that I am only now finding the courage to face what I have always inevitably feared. I thank God for that courage. I need It in order to be present to those experiences that I have in the past shuffled into the darkness and that I once again encounter in silence.
John O’donahue writes “There is within you the presence in a refined sense of everything that has ever happened to you, and if you go looking for it you will find it. A lot of the experiences that we have in the world are torn, broken, hard experiences, and in broken, difficult, lonesome experiences you earn a quality of light that is very precious”.