Who created this self indulged monster, here. I have had one hell of a life. I have been very hurtful in my isolated egotistical ways. The search for happiness, security, self perfection seemed to make me into a monster and I became so lost in that confusion. The one saving grace being that in some strange way I seem to have been oriented towards seeking out my own truth. In that exploration I slowly moved toward a more encompassing picture.
In “silence” I am present to the pain and suffering that has been a product of “separation”. I have had to learn to understand this “separation” and to be with “pain and suffering” in “awareness” as opposed to acts of numbing myself or avoidance. Learning to take responsibility has helped to heal the separation and allow for a reconnection to deeper parts of my humanity. In that I am enjoying, more, the capacity of relating to others without seeking fulfillment of my own needs.
It seems that in our dualistic world we spend our lifetimes searching to compensate for a sense of incompleteness, which itself is often unconscious. The fact that is unconscious does not seem to stifle the need that it projects onto our psyche. Frank Waters writes about finding a place of silence so heavy and profound that it squashes the kernel of truth out of his words, and leaves the meaningless husks mercilessly exposed … and the silence grows round the walls, hands from one to another, until all the silence is one silence, and that silence is the meaning of all. In silence we become aware of our limitations, defects and insufficiencies. Kabir writes “to be silent in your mind, silent in your senses, and also silent in your body. Then, when all these are silent, don’t do anything. In that state truth will reveal itself to you. It will appear in front of you and ask, “What do you want?”
Caught up in our usual activities, having forgotten our true nature, we may seem to be elsewhere, but we are in fact never truly apart from it. An increased focus on interior insight and transformation provide for another path to the realization of a more radical truth that is not something to merely believe in but to live and to fully embody.