Its as if I am opening and as I open I inevitably encounter intense experiences that somehow have become locked and stashed away. I am reduced to a fumbling emotional mess at times. At least that is how it feels. As if I am small and insignificant. Maybe it is that the self that I had become, (conditioned and shaped into) is small and to let it go I must encounter the truth of it. There is acknowledgement that it is inadequate;at best limited in its ability to negotiate lifes unfolding. It wants things its own way and sees anything that contradicts its selective understanding as a barrier of some sort. There is no willingness to get to know and explore and to see the truth of relation to life and all that is part of it and the relativity and limitation of our beliefs and mostly the habitual impulse to separate and hold at arms length all that has been separated. In an honest exploration one can see that there is no separate object as it has been defined.