I am discovering the limitations of living life through the fixed use of conceptual formulations and ways of knowing that I was, at an earlier age, conditioned to use. Direct experience is coming to replace concepts as a more holistic guide from which I negotiate and understand life which has in turn led me to a different way of understanding, relating to and using concepts.
My life is constantly changing as is the way I perceive, express and understand life and life events. Fixed and abstract use of concepts in no way capture that process. So in my efforts to express and share that direct experience I am constantly exploring and experimenting with new and creative and authentic ways to reflect that. The concepts that I use may change from day to day, depending on the dynamics that are involved and that affect me and any new insights that might have arisen at that particular moment and day.
The quality of consciousness changes for me from day to day. There are many influences, some of what I have mentioned here, that I am connected to, or not, that influence that. When I am able to bring awareness to my experience it has the most profound affect on how I live and how I fit into life.