With the shock of the outcome of the USA election still resonating, there is arising anxiety connected to the insecurity that I feel. I have come to be aware of my habitual reactions and drams I hold that are efforts to relieve the anxiety. In that awareness I am able to be more present to it; reminded of the nothingness that is the essence of our life which includes all our futile efforts to reduce the anxiety that we experience. I can not find the security that I search for in particulars and external solutions and that the anxiety is of an existential quality.
Stephen Batchelor writes in his book “Alone With Others” that “No particular interpretation or expression of Buddhism can be final. Buddhism just like any other phenomenon is a dependent arising and therefore lacks any inherent self nature.”So it is with all else. Our conceptual understanding is not as we imagine it to be. Concepts and ideas are incomplete; time limited creations separated from other very relevant phenomenon that they are in reality inseparable from, in our perception. In life they are vastly complex and interrelated. The perceived solutions to our anxiety that we entertain are similar creations.
Inevitably I find truth not in grasping onto superficial meaning but in stillness and the realization of being, that is discovered in that stillness and the emptiness that emanates from it. I find value in attempts to articulate that process and to express the faith that I have come to know as clearly as I can. Of course this is ever-changing and unfolding. The closer I am to perceived truth the more that there is a realization of interconnection and compassion for others.
Even in these recent times of our collective choices to withdraw into our neurotic, egoic and familiar ways there is hope for us to awaken to something greater than the self and all its fragmented needs.