In his book the Alchemist, Paul Cohelo writes about a young man, Santiago, who journeys away from home in search of a treasure. After his long adventurous journey he returns home and finds that what he was searching was always there at home.
It seems that I have had a similar journey, metaphorically speaking. My journey has been a life long search for “Self” and the truth of this. It has taken me far from my home and more than anything to a place of aloneness. For me that was an extremely relevant place to be looking. From the loneliness and isolation that I encountered there, I eventually reached a place where I could no longer run from or avoid a most clear realization. That involved encountering the extent of and consequences of shameful actions of my past, that I avoided dealing with and/or resolving and as a result they were buried deeply. It was probably that I did not know how to cope or understand what I was experiencing at the time.
It seems that in aloneness I had no place to run from this realization. In terms of meditation process, the more that I could return to the wild, elemental, spaciousness of my own mind the more that I have been able to come to confront and overcome the painful sense of isolation and the more that I am able to connect clearly with my own being , I am experiencing a sense of wanting to help others.
I’m not of the thinking that it could have been done in a different way. This has been my journey; my awakening. There are many ways to wake up to a the “depths of our being” and it seems that I can not know what that might look like for another. But the sense of what we encounter when we move through “that which blocks us” seems to be quite a universal experience.