It has been said that if our intent is to engage others in discussion regarding change, it is best not to be confrontive, directive or suggestive as it might initiate a reaction against that change that is being suggested or proposed. The days are past that I simply give to others what they want to hear at the expense of my own understanding. For me human conditioning has been the normative way of raising our children, and to those of us who have not questioned their conditioning, there is always a risk that what is said by another might contradict that conditioning, ones structured way of understanding life or what one has become. The likelihood of a defensive reaction is always a possibility when we confront our static ways and perceptions.
I have moved on from feeling a sense of responsibility that I should first assess where individuals might be in terms of their unfolding and openness. Who am I to do that. On the other hand it does not take much to realize when another is entering dialogue with an open mind, or not, and my intent is not to stimulate the opening of other minds. It is more to express and carry myself in truth as I perceive it to be and as it unfolds in my own consciousness. For me that is something; that is not static but is dynamic and unfolding. If others wish to engage in exploration of life, intimate sharing and open dialogue than this is what I am most interested in and if not than the conversation will be superficial and brief; the relationship will reflect that.
I will always honour and respect the individual and their perceptions but I have no need to indulge in discussion if there way of being is rigid and resistant to new experiences. The individuals security and comfort are important issues to consider but for me not to the extent that it causes the mind to be closed. I cant help but see that if the mind is closed it is not as it was meant to be. It is obvious that in such cases it is a misguided perception that one has come to hold, that the world should be one way or another. Who are we to know this?

3 thoughts on “Sleeping

  1. I think the important thing in communicating our vision to others is to not censor ourselves and yet to give our expressions their best chance in the world by keeping in mind what we can ascertain about our audience. This doesn’t necessarily mean avoiding conflict. Conflict can sometimes be cathartic. It can break us out of a fixed position.

    I think we should look on communication like a science and like a sport. Like a scientist we should pay close attention to the results of our experiments and try to draw useful conclusions from them. And like a sport we would keep practising, taking our mistakes in our stride and recognising that getting the results we want is not something that will happen immediately.


    1. Yes. It can take some time to first wake up to what it is about ourselves that is authentic that we should express. Often in the esoteric spiritual practices their is an emphasis on “loving kindness”. It is important stuff but it can be a distraction from what might be authentic. the Buddhist seem to think that, loving and kind behaviour helps to minimize bad kharma so that we might minimize the accumulation of things that block us in our unfolding. It can be a bit of juggle until one reaches a point where they know what they are. I am more inclined to trust the process of looking within and letting go.


      1. Yes, I think that an attitude of loving kindness can be a helpful one to learn to adopt for periods of time. We learn about others by opening up to them and a soft approach can help them feel safe enough to express themselves honestly.

        On the other hand, if we were to strive too hard to have this attitude of loving kindness, we would block ourselves from exploring and expressing those more powerful and perhaps sometimes harsher feelings which are part of the process of moving towards wholeness. We don’t have to express them openly. I think that learning to accept all of the feelings we find in us unconditionally and allowing them to flow freely (without acting in a destructive way) is the essence of achieving wholeness. We have to embrace our dark side. Trying too hard to consciously cultivate loving kindness might interfere with that process.

        Perhaps it is a prejudice of my own, but the Dalai Lama always seems to come across to me as someone who is charming and pleasant but also rather emasculated and ineffectual and I think of that when I consider the artificial cultivation of loving kindness.


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