Unlearning and Openness

If we are to awaken from our dream it must come from doing so in our own way. There are many ways to go about that, and for each individual it is most helpful if it is in a way that it is a unique journey and discovery. It seems that most must inevitably encounter what has been relevant in their own conditioning, in terms of blocking them from seeing in a deeper more authentic way. It might be that it becomes about unlearning. It’s not enough to follow another or an ideal or utopian way, however, much we might identify with and value that. It is often inevitable that we are such followers in the beginning and there may be a tendency to want to replace that because everything of ourselves has become what we have learned from others. What is most beneficial is that our habitual tendencies are replaced with an openness to what we experience more directly.
From my own experience there comes a point where we are enabled to distinguish what is of our own experience and what is of another’s. That is not to suggest that we should be closed to others ideas. There is great benefit in being open, however in a critical and questioning way, that can help us sort through that which turns us away from what is authentic of ourselves. As well, there is the power of language to illuminate ideas and experiences that one encounters or might encounter that are helpful in pointing us back to our awakened being. But we must inevitably come to abandon the attachment and literal belief in the word and to see it more as a symbolic, and metaphoric expression.
Looking in a more authentic way can be a very subtle endeavour. My own learning was partly the product of demagogues and authoritarian teachers who had no sense of what it meant to be authentic and to open to a deeper intelligence that is not obtained via the process of external systems and learning. I don’t remember having had encountered an individual who talked about this kind of more vast experience outside of a belief in God. My experience of priests in the Catholic church,that I attended, was that they were as conditioned as I was in their beliefs about God and the church, to be servants of the church. I do remember being so very drawn to the newly arisen idea of the folk mass that seemed to have a more rebellious, spontaneous and expressive dimension.
Ultimately I had no idea that there was such another away as I have now discovered. There was most certainly something of me that was doubtful and unsure about life but it was always suggested to me that it was a flaw of my own making, or more accurately a lack of my own making. And I suspect that there was a point early in my life where, through the diligence and convention of others, I abandoned any sense of awareness of how life and light might come from within my own direct experience and how I might further discover it although here was something of me that was not extinguished in that it recognized brief moments of  wonder, mystery and beauty about life. I had not been taught to attend to that and perhaps it was something that could not be taught and maybe it was something that was inherent to my being and that could not be conditioned out of me. It was that realization that I eventually came to attend to in a much greater force.

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