Most of us have learned early in our lives to strive for perfection. In a way, living in darkness has something to do with the belief that we are imperfect and the action of fixing that flaw in ourselves. Much of our conscious time has to do with efforts to whitewash our darkness. Waking up for me has had to do with learning to question the existence of the darkness and to enter into it and to come to know it intimately. I see better these days the perfection of being imperfect as a human that I am.
Some of the inspirations for me in my life have been Krishnamurti, Osho, Ken Wilber, Alan Watts and Chogyam Trungpa. These have all been controversial individuals who I have heard ongoing commentary regarding their imperfection and questionable ways and history. But I have fared no better than them in my ways of the past and if nothing else they have demonstrated to me that there is a place for tolerance and an understanding of what is involved in coming to resolution.
For me I cannot change how I have been self fixated and unaware. Only in presence can I see into the darkness, the things that obscure my seeing. I must come to trust more in that than to outside commentary of those that think they are able to understand the whys and where fors of what makes people do what they do. In realizing the imperfection that we humans are I have doubts about the assertions that are made on behalf of those who claim to know. But isn’t this the human way, assertions of knowing things that they have limited awareness of? And limited awareness of the consequences of their positions.