Beyond Egotistic Pursuit

It seems to be a very human  tendency to seek assurance in the notion that there is something certain and secure in life. I have pursued this search with  immense energy, ignorance and futility to the point that I have limited faith in the idea that we can find true happiness or wisdom to be found in any assurance we may discover. This search seems   more to be of an egotistic pursuit having limited truth and being more a form of desire for the continuance of self-defensive reactions against life and intelligence.

There is no shortage of literature out there that discusses aspects of human being and it has been a fundamental source of inspiration for me to explore more directly, being. Ultimately  I have discovered that following the path to self-improvement or the pursuit to improve ones  security and assurance in life however thoroughly one  has been researched  and followed the direction of the appropriate literature only leads to relative realization which is somewhat of an illusion. What is of greater value in living authentically is not finding fulfillment in the search for security and certainty but to realize complete fulfillment in living in the present. This  only occurs for me when the mind and heart are no longer protecting themselves against life. The mind is cunning and subtle in its self-defense and subtly returns to old habits.  It is only when it is freed from egotistic pursuit that it  can discern for itself the illusory nature of self-protection. This letting go is facilitated by  the relaxing of the mind seeing beyond its functioning as it has been conditioned to be  and through a meditative and contemplative way of life  one can begin to liberate oneself from the net of false values which the cultural and conditioned environment has imposed upon the individual. In silence we can  find a place of nakedness and from there security and certainty are discovered, not as the ego knows it but in a more authentic awareness and experience of life..

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