Gina Tabourn Gustaffson writes in her book which I have referenced here ” sensitivity is required in order for us to continue to live on this planet”. Included in the topic of “waking up to sensitivity” for me is the notion of waking up to and coming to grips with my sense of vulnerability as a human being. It has been quite an uncomfortable process in waking up to a more authentic and complete self. Many parts of myself have been denied through my conditioning and coming to maturely know how to be with them is something that I have had to learn to do. I have had to come to acquire a trust and faith that there is something good in the nature of being human and at the centre of what I am and that it will unfold if I let up on my resistance and allow the light in.
I am discovering at sixty years of age that I am waking up to being more real than I have allowed myself to be in the past. I am becoming aware of how much that I don,t know rediscovering most everything new again without the use of a script. In all my efforts I really don,t know how to express or describe the truth of what my experience is. Anything that I say or write is just an attempt to express and share my experience however inadequate it always ends up being. I appreciate writers and writings that are able to touch my experience and would like to be able to share in the same way through my art and blogging. Waking is also about learning to be with my fear and insecurity that has always been looming within covered over for most of my life, sheltered and distorted avoiding any recognition. So I am learning to live again, this time sensitive to something new beyond me.
I have included some references to waking up to our sensitivity including discussion about the well know Californian Zen Roshi Shunru Suzuki. He at one point commented to a student about enlightenment although it was something that he never talked about in his talks. For me these words have been important. They are simply ” What do you want to get enlightened for, You may not like it.” This for me opens up a topic worthy of discussion.
Starve the Ego Feed the Soul by Connie Miller